Okay this week did not go according to plan. Tuesday I was STARVING. I was trying to eat less so that I could for sure lose a few pounds this week and get below 200. Bad idea.
We ended up having pizza for dinner (instead of having it Friday night like we normally do) and it was awesome. I didn’t walk that night although I did go walking the next morning. I didn’t know what kind of affect that pizza would have on me until the next day. I thought I would be satisfied with my greasy, fatty dinner and be ready to tackle the health food again. I was so wrong.
Wednesday I was even hungrier. I ate stuff I shouldn’t have and by the time I got home from work I felt bloated and gross. I was so depressed that I just stayed home and sulked. We ended up going to bed at 8 that night.
Thursday I was still really hungry. My stomach was making noises during a meeting I was in and actually disrupting work. And I was eating my healthy stuff that I brought from home – it’s not like I was starving myself. My stomach just wanted more. Again I ate stuff at work that I shouldn’t have had. When I got home I didn’t eat supper but I’m pretty sure the damage was already done. Again, I was so depressed. I’m seriously one pound away from a big goal of mine and it seems impossible that I will ever get there.
Today was food day. I outdid myself. My pants feel tighter as I write this and the kicker is that I’M STILL HUNGRY. I can pretty much kiss any potential weight loss this week goodbye. Tomorrow we have a date night – dinner and then Blue Man Group and I’m not about to waste money on a salad. I’m sure I’ll eat heartily and I’ll pay for it on the scale Sunday.
Part of it is that it’s hot again. And humid. And they closed my walking trails by the lake for 4 days this week because of some bike race so I can’t even go walking at my usual spot. I need to form a plan of action to get me back on track. Whatever I’ve tried these last few weeks has failed miserably. I’m even thinking of looking at week one of my diet/food journal and just eating the exact same thing I ate that week. It worked once, it should work again.
I’m still depressed. I feel like a complete and utter failure. I’m starting to wonder if my mind plays a much larger role in my weight loss than I’ve recently believed. I’m not satisfied with the diet plan and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s my mind that is hungry and not my stomach.
Crap – do I need to go to a shrink? I really do think I need my head examined. I think there are reasons behind my weight problem that need to be dealt with. My husband’s having no problems. If he’s hungry or craving other foods, he’s not saying anything, and he’s obviously losing weight like he should. I wish I could learn from him but in some ways, me and him just think completely opposite from each other and I don’t think this is something I can twist my mind into learning.
Hopefully I’m making sense. And hopefully you’re not completely depressed after reading my post haha. I have to believe that things will get better but I don’t think it’s in the cards this week. My mind needs an intervention. Or maybe it’s my stomach.
Anyone got a good shrink they can recommend?
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