Can anyone SEE me?

Sorry it’s been a few days – life is keeping me busy! But I’m doing good. I’m walking in the evenings now and I love it! My best friend walks with me sometimes, too, which is so much fun. We just laugh the whole time and the walking goes a lot faster. Plus we’re working our abs! haha. I’m eating pretty good. I have more energy. I’m in a better mood.

I still feel fat though.

I’m just waiting for the morning that I wake up and look in the mirror and actually see a difference. No one at work has even noticed anything, although I don’t blame them. A ten pound weight loss on me just means I look a little less bloated lol. It will be another 10lbs before anyone can really tell I think. This morning didn’t help things. Gertrude was in charge of our monthly meeting and everyone commented on how great she looked. Ugh. And she does look good – although I think spanx may have played a part in it today. I also had to get up in front of everyone. I sucked in my tummy and tried to look thinner. Inside I was screaming “someone notice my weight loss!!!” but no one did. It’s frustrating. I’ve worked so hard for 4 weeks now and no one has noticed. Usually I would just give up but this time it makes me want to work that much harder. My big payoff is coming!

I always quit after losing 10 pounds. I’m constantly gaining and losing 10lbs so I’m not entirely content with this weight loss. Now if I lose another ten, I’ll have pushed through my comfort zone and actually have done something really challenging for once. That voice is still there telling me that I won’t lose any more weight. I can only lose 10 – that’s the rule. I can walk as much as I want but it wont make a difference. I hate that voice. I’m hoping to prove it wrong this week. Then maybe it will shut up for good!