One Meal Won't Make You Gain Weight

I realized why I’m struggling. Being hungry all the time doesn’t bother me. I can get used to that. It’s never being full that is the hardest to deal with. I think for some people, and apparently me, fullness equals satisfaction. I’m not content with eating a small meal. I want to eat ‘til I’m full dang it. It’s slowly getting better, but it still sucks. Part of me thinks I should just go get a big meal somewhere and eat until I want to puke. If I don’t, and this continues to eat away at me, I might end up just slipping anyways. But instead of just one meal, I’d probably end up on a day long binge. So should I take my chances, or eat something fatty and filling (because let’s face it – a low-fat meal isn’t going to fill me up)? And if I eat this one meal, will it screw up my weight loss this week? Ugh.

On that topic – one of the reason’s I gained all this weight is because of a saying I once heard: Eating one meal isn’t going to make you gain weight, and skipping one meal won’t make you lose weight. I would go to Chili’s or something, order my favorite calorie-rich food, and not feel guilty because, hey, one meal won’t make me gain weight. Obviously, anyone smart who heard this quote would be like…well...that’s true, but if you have MORE than one meal, that principle won’t work. Yeah. Tell that to my head. The next day, we’d go out to eat somewhere, and I’d get whatever I wanted because (all together now) one meal won’t make me gain weight. It was my motto. Now that I’m trying to lose weight, I feel like anything I eat in excess will make me gain weight. Weird how that works. I’m so divided. One part wants to be good and persevere and lose more weight, and the other half of me (the beast with-in) wants to eat, eat, eat. On the plus side, I’ve woken up early the past two days to go walking so at least I have that going for me.

Maybe I can eat a big bad meal and go walking TWICE tomorrow? hehehe.

*hangs head in shame*