Gertrude

Yesterday was hard. I was discouraged and depressed and frustrated. Upon reflection, I’ve come to realize that I was just being dumb, but sometimes you need to fall to get back up again.

I was actually having a pretty good day. I felt good about my walk in the morning. I wasn’t as hungry as usual. I was even in a good mood. Then I talked to her. (Queue the evil – Da! Da! Dum! music here)

 No one from my department reads my blog but, just in case, let’s call her Gertrude.

I had gone into our break room to get my lunch out of the fridge. My manager was in there pouring coffee and Gertrude was sitting at the table staring at her phone. My manager saw the grapes and apple that I was digging out of my lunch bag and asked if was dieting again. (That’s a sad word – “again”. Ugh.) Yep! I told her my hubby and I had started a little over two weeks ago. She said that was awesome. I said thanks. I turned around to leave, and then Gertrude looked up and asked me what diet I was on.

Now a little background about Gertrude so that my reaction to what transpired between us makes a little more sense. Have you ever met someone that, for whatever weird, unknown, irrational reason, you just didn’t like? Their face, their voice, the way they talk – EVERYTHING? And usually you’re the only one with a problem because everyone else seems to adore them? This is how I felt about Gertrude. And I feel bad for having these feelings. She seems nice. She just bugs the crap out of me.

So she asked me what diet I was on. I told her weight watchers. She said that’s cool (but in a way that meant it wasn’t all that cool). She tells me she’s doing Medifast.

 Um….Medifast? So you’re fasting???

 No. Medifast – it’s a diet that provides you with meals and stuff.

 Oh. Ok. Cool.

 Yeah it is. I’m never hungry. It’s great!

 (WTF?. I’m always hungry! That is so not fair!).

And then she says that she’s already lost 20lbs and she’s only been doing it for a few weeks. I could of punched her. I mean, she’s not as heavy as me, but she’s still a pretty big girl…and I don’t like her. So understandably I want to lose weight and be skinnier than her. Instead of giving her my right hook, though, I just congratulated her and went back to my desk.

Of course the first thing I did was Google “medifast”. Turns out it’s what she said it is – a meal replacement program. The kicker? It’s SUPER expensive. One box of cereal is almost 18 dollars. A 24 pack of diet shakes is almost 80. She had to of spent a fortune getting all this food. You have to eat every 2-3 hours, so you’re going through this stuff fast. Unfortunately I didn’t realize this yesterday, but it hit me this morning during my walk – she spent probably close to 400 dollars to lose 20lbs. And you know when she starts eating normal food, she’ll probably gain back some of the weight. Me? I’m losing weight on a budget. I’ll save my hard-earned money for new clothes, thank you very much. But yesterday I just felt defeated. I wanted to afford expensive diet meals. I wanted to boast a 20lb weight loss. I didn’t want to be hungry. When I got home from work, I didn’t even want to eat. I felt if I ate anything it would make my weight loss progress slower. Luckily I have an awesome, reasonable, and smart husband. He pretty much said what I just pointed out – our way really is the better way. And so I had supper. And today I feel a whole lot better about everything. It’s crazy how just one thing can bring you down.

I want to be the better person and say that I hope Gertrude really does lose more weight and actually keeps it off, but I have to be honest. If she gained all the weight back in the next few months, it would make me feel really good. I’m evil and mean and horrible, I know. But at least I tell the truth. I want her weight loss to be as hard as mine. It’s only fair. Don’t hate me.